Not-So-Tiny Tip: Can You Hear Me Now?

Does your querent's communication style match your own?  Or do your styles clash?  Are you suddenly finding it difficult to convey what seems to you to be the simplest, most straightforward information or idea without confusing, frightening or upsetting your querent?

In our everyday work lives, most of us have had to communicate with a wide range of people, and we learn--too often the hard way--that communication styles can be very different.  This can lead to miscommunication, misunderstanding and even out-and-out conflict. 

You know you're a knowledgeable and caring Tarot counselor, but what if the next querent you counsel has a way of hearing and interpreting information that is very different from your own?  Try these suggestions.

As soon as communication difficulties arise, stop, get focused and seek to identify the nature of the problem.  It might help to ask your querent to recount, in his own words, what he believes he has heard.  Sometimes confusion and misunderstanding can be corrected immediately once we actually know what it is the querent thinks we've said.  Minor fears can be nipped in the bud.  A bigger fear will take more time and work--perhaps in another layout or session--since its source is most likely personal, old and deep-seated. Of course, some reader "missteps" can bring up issues and feelings that are important for the querent to address.

Ask your client to describe how she or he is feeling in the moment. Is it confusion?  Anger?  Queasiness?  Fear?  Listen carefully as your querent talks, and observe his or her body language and shifts in energy.

Check in with your own feelings.  Are you feeling grounded, confident and comfortable in what you have been saying?  Or are your feelings similar to what your client is describing?  If your own issues have been triggered by the reading or if you've absorbed your querent's feelings--which can happen if you're particularly sensitive and your boundaries are porous--your first job is to get yourself back on track.  Breathe deeply, focus, ask for spiritual guidance and take responsibility for how your session will go from here on in. By making certain that you are centered, clear and available to listen well and serve, you have a better chance of subtly, energetically guiding your querent to a similar state of being and listening.

Next, consider that you might need to try a different angle with this particular querent.  Some querents are very linear in the way they speak, listen and learn; others allow more room for the liberal poetry of speech.  Your straightforward delivery of the message might need to be a little more nuanced or metaphorical. 

Be sensitive to the emotional effects of the information you're conveying.  Perhaps it would be better received by your querent if he perceived you to also be a feeling human being. Don't be afraid to gently show your own feelings.

If it seems that you might have been too direct about an event or issue in your querent's life, try talking about drawing comparisons with a situation that might not be so triggering and threatening to him.  Or try telling a teaching story.  Or direct your querent's attention to an image in one of your Tarot cards--for instance, The Fool's little yapping dog--and find a creative way to address its relevance to his or her situation. 

Have you been way too dry in your approach?  Try a modest dash of gentle humor.  Conversely, have you been too playful, not focused or specific enough for this particular querent?  Pull in your reins a bit.

Some querents need to be carefully, compassionately nudged towards a different way of seeing things and expressing themselves.  Others need to set the pace for what they will receive and how they will receive it.  Recognize that every querent is different. 

Stay alert, interested, honest and responsive.

(c) 2007 Eva Yaa Asantewaa

http://mysite.verizon.net/magickaleva

Comments

[Patricia (a/k/a Roswila)]

Excellent ideas, Eva! Had many of the experiences you describe back when I was reading for others. LOL! I can use these tips in communicating with others in general even now. (I'm one of those very porous types... and a lot of my email buddies are very, um, not so.... :-D)

[Eva Yaa Asantewaa]

Porosity, yes. Sometimes a gift, sometimes a curse.

Eva